You get what you believe.
If only you could be as convinced of everything else you desire.
You believe certain things about yourself:
Is that real? Can we really do that?
My short answer:
This is how and why it seems difficult or impossible but really isn’t.
One of the first performances I choreographed was inspired on a book. The book is about a Prince who realizes he is The Prince that has to awaken Sleeping Beauty with a kiss. She’s sleeping for 99 years when he has this realization, and in the year that he is searching for her, he writes her a daily letter. Thus, the book consists of 365 letters to Sleeping Beauty.
In one of the letters the Prince describes how he sits down underneath a tree, closes his eyes and sees Sleeping Beauty in his mind’s eye. She’s awake, and she is so nearby he could touch her. But when he opens his eyes.. nothing is there.
“How can I change the tiny last bit of difference, between that what I imagine to be here, and what is in my reality right now. “
Well said, Prince.
Isn’t that what we ask ourselves every day? How can I get on that holiday I have been dreaming of, how can I get the partner, the career, the project, the.. that I see in my mind’s eye but isn’t here yet.
The performance I made based on this book was all about bringing what you imagine into reality – going from thoughts into action. I flipped the story around and set three Sleeping Beauties on stage, which were creating each other and there own reality as they were waiting for the Prince to come and kiss them.
And as lovely as that is in theatre world… we indeed created everything we imagined with the help of lights, animations, costumes and the language of theatre and dance.
(And we got really impatient, angry and disappointed as well because the darn Prince never showed up.. or maybe he did?)
Well, all that is great in the magical theatre world, but how does this work in the real world?
Can we create our realities?
In Joe Dispenza’s ‘Breaking the habit of being yourself’ the topic of manifestation is explained in a solid and scientific way. (Highly recommend reading the book!)
When you go into the core of everything that exists (including our bodies and brains) there is only energy. And energy vibrates at a certain frequency.
When you vibrate at a frequency, you attract people, places, and events in your life that vibrate at the same frequency.
This is what we do on a daily basis, with or without knowing it.
So to change it, we need to change ourselves on an energetic and molecular level – which will then attract different events in the external environment.
Yea.. sounds cool but.. really?
Because we haven’t been taught this, at all!
We believe that reality is as it is and that we are merely victims of what is surrounding us.
Our brains are full of belief systems, that keep our reality the same – every single day.
But how different would it be if you would know in your core that you do influence your reality and that you can change your inner world and therefore change what your external experiences are?
How would you live your everyday life?
What in your life would change?
What would you eliminate from your life and what would you invite more into your life?
Now, this is the key question.
Because you need to feel it before you have it.
It’s not enough to just think it or to feel the desire to have something.
You need to be able to fully imagine it.
You need to think and feel as if the future event has already happened. As if you already have your dream business, your dream house or that long desired year-long travel around the world.
If he imagines Sleeping Beauty in front of him, imagines every detail about her, her hair, her eyes, her smile – he will feel as if she is there already.
When he spends enough time imagining this, basking in the good feeling. He will open his eyes and go out into the world AS IF he has already awakened her with his kiss as if they are already living happily ever after.
His thoughts will be in line with his feeling – what he wants is already in his reality.
This is how to change the last tiny bit of difference between that what you’ve imagined and that what is really there.
Thus one day he will meet his Sleeping Beauty.
What is it that you’d like to bring into the world? What would you like to be, do or have?
Let me know what your biggest dreams are. And which ones you have already manifested into reality… and HOW you did it!
Do you ever struggle with fear and anxiety?
This insight I had years ago will help you to catch yourself when you are anxious.
What you think influences how you feel, what you do, what you don’t do.
If you change the way you think, you change you. And you change your life.
Let me tell you a story, that illustrates the power of thoughts and how ‘what you believe to be true’, completely changes your reality.
I’ll take you 11 years back in time, to the year 2007.
I had just finished Dance Academy and I’d always been traveling a lot. I loved Central America, and here it was, a job to teach Dance in El Salvador, Guatemala, and Honduras. And I was selected. Couldn’t be happier.
I upgraded my Spanish by listening to children books and dancing salsa to prepare my upcoming travel.
The Dutch Company that had hired me told me I need to do a prep training. For my safety. So I went two days into a hotel, somewhere in the Dutch forest for a ’Safety Training.’ Didn’t know what it was really about, but hey, if it was needed for the job, I’d do it.
Oh, my. Al my ideas about eating mango’s for breakfast and making dance performances with cute El Salvadorean children went through the window. In the courseI learned what to do if you
And then… we did a drill with actors. In groups of 6, we got send into the forest, and we had to make it to the endpoint. BUT – we got assaulted by armed men on the way.
I knew that they were actors, but getting a (fake) gun to my head was just a little too much for my sensitive soul.
I remember asking for a Time Out (how nice to be able to do that when some idiot is pointing a gun at you – it should be possible in real life). And I started to re-consider my job.
Forwarding 6 weeks from that.
Despite the training in the Dutch forest, I had made my way to El Salvador. Completely prepared for anything to happen, but still excited for my new job in a new country. The first evening I slept in the little house in the garden of the Theatre Company where I would work with for the coming year. I was welcomed by the owners, we had a rice-and bean-and chicken dinner, and I went to bed.
It started raining, and soon I dozed off …
Then it happened. I heard sounds of ‘footsteps – krr rrr – just in front of my door. My breath stopped. Who was that? Oh, my. I had nowhere to go. To make things even worse, I heard gunshots – not nearby but close enough to make my whole body freeze.
This was it.
Everything I had learned in the training in the Safety Training in the Dutch forest was already happening. I was ready to surrender.. and die.
I had no idea what to do. The footsteps came closer, and someone was trying to get into the door.
Although good old Anxiety got the best of me, I got myself together and out of bed.
In a daze, I went to the door, and opened it – ready to ask for mercy… but instead, I stood eye in eye with …
two turtles that wanted to get into my house, because it was raining.
When I looked up, the ‘gunshots’ appeared to be fireworks, because somebody was celebrating a wedding nearby.
My body started to breathe again.
I never forget how idiotic I felt.
How cute the turtles were.
And how silly I felt being so afraid in this cute little garden house.
THINKING about something creates chemical reactions in your body that give you physical sensations, such as a raised heartbeat, not being able to take action, sweating, etcetera.
In the story above, my thoughts created anxiety and stress. Which, very often is the case.
We have around 70.000 thoughts a day, and most of them are involuntary.
With an overactive mind, it is very hard to feel safe, confident and to think clearly.
Here is how to get out of your head, when your thoughts and anxiety get the best of you:
Breathe all the way deep into your lungs. Put your hands on your lower ribs and make sure that you allow your ribs and belly to move when you breathe.
Think of your feet, or massage your feet. When you are overthinking, your energy is going to your head. By bringing your awareness to your feet, you’ll send the energy there, which will calm your thoughts down.
Make fun of yourself. Give your anxious or insecure thoughts a funny voice and say them out loud as if you were a frog or an alien “Oh my, this is it – we are all going to die, or.. everybody thinks I look horrible, they are going to laugh at me, I will never be welcome here again, Of course, I will not get chosen, Am I the only one who doesn’t understand this?
Anxiety happens to all of us. Either small or big, Fear wheres many costumes.
Anxiety can come up for you as the voices in your head that keep you from starting your own company, or to take that year off to go travel.
Want to have more tools to ditch anxiety?
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Your body-mind is extremely intelligent and communicates with you all the time. It is sending you signs, wether or not you receive them.
How do you know if you haven’t been picking up the messages your body is sending you?
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you ever have this experience of ‘feeling fine’ and then when you finally take a night of you all of a sudden feel exhausted?
Or you go on a holiday and the first days… you get sick.
Or you just have that back pain that doesn’t seem to go away!
That means your body has been sending you signs, but you haven’t been able to hear them.
Think about this, when you feel:
• in pain,
• you are often tired
• in your head,
• overthinking everything,
it is a sign that something is not right.
It is your body asking for a change.
So many people do not listen to these signs.
They get used to the lower back pain, the stress, the sleepless nights, the annoyance!
I don’t want you to be one of ‘those people’.
That’s why I share one of the biggest secrets today:
It’s very simple:
Energy either flows, or it is stuck. And stuck is not good.
Energy needs to flow.
If you don’t release the stress and continue with your life without listening to the signs your body is giving you, there is a chance that the body will scream louder.
You might end up with a burnout, or you get every flu that comes along in winter, or.. (fill in the blank)
Being healthy means being resilient, being able to cope with stress, feeling good on a physical, mental and emotional level.
You feel comfortable in your body and you clearly know what you need (and what you don’t need!).
I have spent the past 17 years looking for the best ways to feel great in your body, have loads of energy and feel genuinely happy.
At first, I wanted to feel amazing so that I could perform at my best as a professional dancer, on stage.
Later, I realized that I could use the same methods and principles to everyday life and I have taught thousands of people all over the world how to connect to themselves and be full of energy.
Go here to get them.
Yesterday I got back from a trip to Ireland.
I took a Qigong course taught by the Grandmaster I am studying with for seven years.
He teaches me Qigong, Kung Fu and Tai Chi Chuan.
He lives in Malaysia, is 70+ years and still travels the world to teach his Energy Arts.
It’s always special to learn from him.
(Although I didn’t always think that way!)
The first time that I took a course with Sifu (which means teacher) was in Ireland.
I had just finished dance academy, and I was convinced that nobody could teach me anything anymore about movement practices, “because I knew it all.”
Oh, boy was I wrong!
In that course years ago, we learned an advanced Qigong technique.
At one point energy was moving my body, without me ‘doing’ anything.
But instead of going with the flow, I was trying hard to take the control back.
The other people in the course did let go, letting the energy clear any blockages within their body-mind.
And I stood in the corner, being grumpy and trying to resist whatever the F*ck was happening.
At one point I decided to walk out of the room because I couldn’t stand being there anymore and I wanted to get back to ‘normal.’
Standing there, outside at a beautiful Irish lake, I did the exercise we had just learned by myself, trying to prove that it didn’t do me anything. But after doing it a couple of times, my arm started moving, and my whole body was swaying.
And I let go.
Something that I didn’t understand was happening to me, and I was finally ready to surrender.
Its one of the best things that have ever happened to me.
My resistance broke, and therefore my mind opened, my heart opened, and felt better than ever before.
As my dear friend Laura Hames Franklin says, it was a Wholly Shift Moment.
Resistance means, being in your head.
And that is not where the magic happens.
Sometimes you’ve just gotta let go…
Explore new waters.
There is no greater gift you can give yourself
“If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than who you are.”
Kung Fu Panda
Do you want to release stress and have more energy? In less than 10 minutes a day?
Let me show you how: click here to get access to my FREE VIDEOS
Can you heal yourself?
Okay, I get it. You might think: I just always have lower back pain, or I just have stiff hamstrings.
Maybe you have learned to live with not sleeping well or being so exhausted after work that you don’t have the energy to do anything else in the evenings.
I get it. When I had a whiplash, and the doctors told me I would have that slight pain in my neck forever, I thought I had to deal with it.
Until, I got rid of the pain, and besides that, got rid of the colds in winter, the allergies, my belly cramps..
I am so passionate about telling you this. YOU are infinitely powerful. Your body is wired to heal itself and to restore. You just need to find the pathways to connect with that self-healing capacity of your body.
Because small things aren’t small. Small things can become big. And besides that, small things can have more impact on you than you think. Most of all, it are signs of your body that something is not right. And the signs are there so that you can take action!
Where there is pain, there is stagnation. Where there is stagnation there is pain.
Sounds pretty straightforward, but what does it mean? This is how Chinese Medicine looks at any illness. There is either a blockage in the flow of chi (and blood) or insufficiency of chi (energy) flow.
So we need to remove blockages and increase the flow. And that will solve the problem. Always. Whatever it is.
You can translate this principle to these three levels: physical, emotional and mental.
For example, your lower back pain means that the energy is not flowing freely. What can you do to release the blockage or to increase your energy levels?
In short: release blockages by releasing unnecessary tension in your body.
Due to wrong posture or moving too little or too much you can create tension in your body. This restricts the flow. So you want to do something to loosen it up. Maybe that is having a walk in nature, going to a massage therapist or going to a Yin Yoga class.
Emotional blockages might show up a physical pain, or as fatigue, anger, annoyance or overall stress. Often we don’t want to feel the emotion that is actually there, because, well it is unpleasant to feel it.
But here is the thing: You’ve gotta feel it to heal it. There is no way around it.
So if you have any of the things above, tune in with yourself. And ask: instead of me being so tired, or angry or annoyed, what is really going on? What is the underlying cause of this discomfort I am feeling?
Is there something that you need to let go of? Is there anything coming up that is bothering you? Any anger you are holding on to? Or are you feeling guilty? Do you need to forgive someone?
If you feel this is true for you, sit with these questions. Write down what comes to mind. And try to get a clear picture of what it is that you haven’t been able to let go of.
Next step is to see I you can forgive, or let go of the grief. And if you feel you need some support, do reach out for it!
This is a sneaky one. Because often we do not see our mental blockages.
Mental blockages are beliefs that are so deeply grounded within you, that you don’t notice at all that it is a blockage. Often, you unconsciously rely on this belief. It makes you feel safe. And your subconscious thinks it needs the belief to keep you safe!
There are plenty of ways to work on this. But first of all, become aware. When you find yourself stating things like: I am just not good at…X – or people are not to be trusted, know that this is the kind of believes that we are talking about. Challenge them a bit, and open up to the opportunity that you can change this core belief.
Another mental blockage is Overthinking. I wrote about it last week. Overthinking is dangerous because it deludes you. It is like being in a conversation with someone while you just keep talking. No matter what the other person does, you won’t be able to hear what he or she is saying.
That is what your body feels when your thinking mind is overactive. However loud the body will scream and send signs, they are not likely to be heard because you are so busy thinking.
So do you want to know HOW to access your amazing self-healing, nourishing superpowers?
As an artist or creative you do what you love most.
Unlike many people, you have found your passion, your talent, your genius zone.
But what if you could be in a more stable financial situation, could do more of the work you really want to do?
(And say no to these things that you don’t want to do with confidence!)
Do you still
– get offered jobs in exchange for a cup of coffee?
– feel that people do not fully value what you have got to offer?
– see no other way than waiting for the right job to come along, a grand or to keep working with that one side job?
What if I told you that there is a way to build a business around your biggest passion, and you don’t have to do anything anymore what you don’t want to do.
Me, 10 years ago. I graduated from Dance Academy, which was my second bachelor degree. I now was a Teacher in Theatre and a Contemporary dancer. Combined that made me the choreographer I wanted to be.
In the beginning, I looked for jobs. I danced in other peoples performances, I taught classes to dancers and non-dancers al around the globe.
Until I realized that with working in all those different locations, I wasn’t building something. I felt that I needed to bring my love for theatre and dance together and long story short, I founded my own Dance Company.
Since then I have never looked back. I now realize that I became an entrepreneur, but at that time I didn’t even know what that word meant.
Fast forward, an amazing 8 years of running my own Dance Company, I decided to re-invent myself again and take my business online. For the same reason, I needed to change the format of my work in order to live the life I want to live.
And from the moment I embraced the online world to work, and have dived deeper into business and marketing I clearly see how we artists get stuck in thinking that there is only one way.
So what can you do to open up more possibilities for you as an artist (and let’s face it, as an entrepreneur)?
Share more of what you do! By using.. the internet. Artists and creatives work a lot, but don’t show much of the process.
Artists are likely to think that they should only show the outcome of the work.
But what I see now in having a creative online business, is that it is much easier to build an audience if you share more of the process with people. It makes it much easier for them to connect with you.
What can your work mean to people and in what ways can you deliver it to them?
For example, I can teach a theatre workshop, where people will learn to act. But inevitably they will also learn a lot about themselves. So I decided to find ways to create these transformational moments in online workshops.
I can create an impact with making a dance performance, and or I can do it it with taking people through an experience in another way.
You don’t have to change your artistic work. But can you share more about the process, or have creative ways to grow your impact as an artist?
For example, when you share more, you can teach people something about a creative process. You provide value for them, and so they either support your artistic work, or they could end up paying you for a course or coaching!
Point Three is maybe the most important one.
There is this common belief in Artist land, that there are things that you can do that are ’honorable’ and things that aren’t. So, for example, it is a ‘good’ thing to be an artist and exhibit your paintings in a well-known museum because it means you are successful.
But if you teach your art or anything related and change lives in another way, it means you failed as an artist. Which is just total BS if you ask me.
What I realized is that success is not absolute. It is contextual. Yes, if you make a performance that wins an award, that is a success. But that only really gets seen in the context of ‘theatreland’! And if you teach a retreat, where peoples lives have changed after they’ve been.. that is a huge success as well.
There really is no difference.
But for some reason that is for us artists and creatives a hard one to crack.
The moment you open yourself up to more possibilities, when you start to think of how you can bring value to the world with your talents, passions, and skills there is soo much more possible.
Rock on with your bad self if you are kicking it as an artist, awesome. You don’t have to do anything else.
But remember success is, what you determine it to be.
What really opened my eyes was the Free training from Marie Forleo. And it is available today only for limited time.
Go get it HERE.
Do you recognize this?
You feel like you’re stuck in a loop of ongoing thoughts and you can’t get out of your head.
Your mind is busy with never-ending chatter. In fact, it’s everywhere, but not in the present.
Once in a while, you break free, but most of the time your thoughts worries keep you from getting into the here and now.
Ok. I hear you.
The good news is, I know how you feel. I have been there.
(And after a long day behind the computer I can still feel like that!)
I would overthink everything, have discussions with myself in my head (sometimes I even think I have a whole board of directors up there all wanting to be right).
The good news?
I have found ways out of it.
I now can catch myself when I am overthinking, and get back to be a complete person.
Instead of just a walking head.
And if I can do it, you most certainly can too.
The truth is, I think almost everyone I know overthinks things.
Today I will tell you how to connect your body to your brain and to feel comfortable in your skin, full of energy.
Think you are a hopeless case? I’ve got you covered. Keep reading.
First things first, let’s look at your brain (with compassion)!
1 Your brain wants to keep you safe
You overthink the next steps you are going to take because you want to be safe.
“If I follow my heart and go to Honolulu, I might get some horrible tropical flu.”
“I really want to quit my job (i hate it!) but I can’t because the economy is bad and I won’t find anything else.”
Your brain just wants to protect you from having anything happen to you.
Which is a good thing… but 99% of the time your brain is a bit like a hyper overprotective mum.
And so you end up doing nothing but sitting there thinking about what you could do (and losing time!)
2 Your brain is afraid of failure
Your thinking mind will present you with all kind of things that could go wrong.
“I would start my own business, but if nobody buys my products or services, I am embarrassed and will have to go back to my job,”
“Should I get into yoga or would I look silly because I am so stiff?”
3 Your brain wants you to take the absolute right decision
You are so aware that time is passing and that you can’t go back in time, that you always want to make the only right decision.
Therefore you don’t take one more step because you have overthought every possibility you have. Which will get you .. nowhere.
4 Your brain wants to control what other people think about you
Sometimes your thoughts come from ‘other people’. You might have this room full of friends, colleagues, and family that are giving you advice, in your head.
What would my best friend think if I would buy this pair of shoes, what would my husband think if I would quit my job, .. etc.
An impossible overthinking mode, because everyone is going to have an opinion anyway. You can’t control it, and in the end it doesn’t matter.
You have to make your own decisions.
Put your ‘overthinking awareness’ on for a week or so and become aware.
Do you recognize yourself in one of the situations above?
Do you have impulses to take action but end up thinking about it instead of doing it?
This is, of course, a great way to Get out of your head: Get into your body. Move, run, do yoga, go swimming, walk the dog, dance to your favorite music. Moving will get you out of your head, for sure.
And when you revisit the problem or issue later, you might see an easy solution in no time.
Warning: You can also move and still be in your head. I see it in the gym all the time. When working out, go into your body, feel what you are doing.
When you sit still and just are with your thoughts, you can distance yourself from them. It is not needed to have an ‘empty mind’ to be able to meditate. The practice is to become the observer. So the thoughts are still there, but you are now the one observing them, instead of being actively engaged.
Therefore, it is you that is in charge. And not the chatter in your mind.
The next time you are going around and around in your head before you take a decision, you will just ssssshhh the thoughts. And you get moving and simply take action on the initial topic.
Taking action is the goal here, and the ultimate cure against overthinking. My mentor Marie Forleo says this really well: Clarity comes from engagement, not thought!
Tell your brain you will never know what will go wrong, or what will go right, until you actually go on the holiday, quit the job, make the proposal or eat the pizza.
Want some help getting out of your head?
I’m giving away my best tips to Get out of your head for FREE.
Go here to get them now.
What is your favorite workout? Maybe you have heard this: If you love one practice, stick to it. Get really good in one thing. Be great at either running, yoga, meditation, kung fu, ballet, fitness, pilates, volleyball, surfing, you name it…
But I am going to tell you the opposite.
Do different things.
Practice movement styles you have never done before. Sure, you’ll have your favorites, but do not keep it to one movement practice!
Maybe you are the ambitious kind, and you like to get really good at one thing. Nail all those difficult handstands in yoga poses. Or be able to win a marathon. Or you just like to stick to what you know! Which is great and I have nothing against that.
What if I told you that you could improve yourself, your body and your practice even more if you would alternate in between different practices.
Every practice has a different emphasis. And doing a number of them will balance your body on deeper levels than ever before.
In my personal training and my work with students, I use and fuse different practices for body, mind, and energy. Body, mind, and energy are connected, and every workout embodies all three of them. But every practice has a different emphasis.
Great workouts and good teachers do touch upon all three of them though.
Physical practices are running, yoga, fitness, ballet, Zumba, dance, swimming, etcetera.
When we talk about personal training or workouts, this will be the first category that comes to mind. And it is great. Nothing better than getting out of your head, into your body and just move. And, when you do a physical workout you will notice at that at the same time your mind quiets down.
Within physical workouts, it is great to alternate as well.
I take ballet classes, but I alternate them with yoga classes and workouts in the gym. I make sure I get some cardio training in a couple of times a week, and I train specific muscles with ankle weights or elastic bands.
Doing this improves my abilities to dance as well. And it keeps my body strong, flexible and happy.
If you like running, you might notice your muscles (hamstrings) are pretty strong and short. So you make sure you also do a practice where you relax and lengthen your muscles.
If you do a lot of yoga, you’ll be strong and flexible. But you could benefit from a cardio practice (running, swimming) and your benefit will love ball rolling exercises (see example here) or getting a massage every once in a while.
Meditation, pranayama (breathing exercises), mindfulness…
Mind practices are there to quiet your mind and to help you to have less unnecessary thoughts. If you are not aware of the ongoing stream of thoughts in your head, just sit still for a minute, and bring your awareness to your breath.
When you do that, you’ll notice that it is hard to keep your focus on your breath for one minute. Your thoughts will take you away from it. Which means you are not aware of them.
Your thinking mind (a.k.a. the monkey mind) is playing with you.
In that state, it is harder to be fully present. Which is important in your workout or sport – anything you perform when you are fully present you will perform better.
And of course, that translates to every aspect of your life. Being present is beneficial to anything you do.
If you like to work creatively, you’re an artist or an entrepreneur, you especially need that quiet time, to get into a creative state. When you meditate, you’ll have more ideas flowing in easily. Creativity just comes to you, all throughout the day.
Qigong, Tai Chi, Kung Fu are Energy Arts.
An energetic practice works straight on the energy level. The energy level is fundamental to the other levels (body and mind). If you change something on the energy level, you will notice a direct shift in body and mind.
Energy practices used to be well-kept secrets. (and in a way they still are). Because they are so powerful, it isn’t something you learn in a drop-in class in the gym. It is a subtle level, yet fundamental to the whole of your existence. So when you dive into Energetic practice, you are going to make some big epic changes to yourself and your life.
Qigong is a powerful energy practice. When taught as an energy art, so are Tai Chi and Kung Fu.
Another option is to go to an energy healer. Somebody who can help you clear your energies and improve the flow of energy within your body.
The amount of benefits to practicing each one these different levels is endless. By practicing an Energy Art, you will create inner shifts with ease. Also, it gives you the ability to release tension after a hard workout and prevent injuries.
Mind practices make it easier for you to be present, which means you’ll do your workout or your Qigong practice with more depth – and therefore get more of the benefits. Your weekly cardio workout in the gym will make your body stronger and will stimulate happy hormones that make you feel great!
As I said, it is pretty uncommon to find workouts on those three levels but you are in luck! This is exactly what I do. To experience what I am talking about:
Get my FREE Videos – where I will introduce to you simple exercises that change your day. Because when you change your body, you change your world.